Well, it seems that neither of my proposed articles have been written by magical writing faeries. Nor have they been written by me. This is typical of me. I get ideas and can’t get to them immediately. Then some shiny new idea pops into my brain and I leave older, but still viable, ideas by the wayside. C’est la vie.
On the gaming front, not much is happening, and some of that is by my own design while other chunks are by life’s design. I am currently playing in a monthly RPG, but have not been able to make the last few sessions due to another game commitment that involves my son. My Tai’eres game bit the big one once I did a story reset of sorts. Once it got restarted, life interfered with a number of players and attendance was spotty at best for some. This kind of depressed me and thus I put the game on hiatus for a month. Once a month passed, I tried to contact the players to see if they wanted to continue. Three said yes, one said no, one said sure way later than the “respond” by date I had posted, and two others couldn’t even be bothered to respond at all. Thus, it died an ignoble death.
I would be lying though if I said I haven’t enjoyed not running a regular game. It really is amazing the amount of relaxation and family time I can squeeze in when I do not have to plan for a regular game. It’s been nice.
The only other gaming I have been doing has been twice-a-week games of WarMachine at Armored Gopher Games. One of the days is Tuesdays, where I typically go by myself due to the boy’s basketball obligations. The other day is Saturday which is when every other gaming commitment I have made seems to want to run. Problem is, I am reluctant to go off gaming on my own when it is my son’s only chance during the week to play. Hence, we play WarMachine on Saturdays. The boy and his happiness is important to me, and I will sacrifice much to insure it.
Convention-wise, I have been asked to run something at our local convention (Winter War), as per usual. Lately, my inspiration has been spotty. Last year, I thought my events sucked the high hard one. This year, I’m not sure what is happening on my front. I’m not feeling particularly inspired to run anything RPG-related. I might help the local Press Gangers run some WarMachine events, but they’re not certain if they are doing anything yet. Again, I’m as uninspired as I have ever been in regard to games and gaming with relation to my own creativity.
Perhaps this is due to the shifting of priorities of where I draw my self-worth from. In the past, being a good gamer and GM was really where the bulk of my self-esteem was drawn from. Anymore, I draw more satisfaction from being a good husband and father. I don’t need the games to prop up my admittedly fragile ego anymore. I am now at a place where I could give up games and be pretty content. I never thought I would ever reach that plateau. As such, I now paint my miniatures when the mood strikes me. I think about RPG systems and mechanics like I always have to keep the brain stimulated, but nothing is driving me to create “the next big thing”. I have even spread the mental ruminations to include miniatures games and even the occasional LARP idea.
Games, however, are no longer the end-all, be-all of my existence. Unfortunately for me, the bulk of my friendships have come from gaming, and, as we all grow older, I am finding that gaming is all that I have in common with the people I call friends. This begs the question that if I’m at a place to give up games and gaming then am I also at a place to give up the people who I call my friends? That’s a scary, scary thought, and I’m not certain I like the logical answer to it.